Wow, HONESTLY talk about AWEFUL...

I AM SO VERY SORRY to those of you who may have read OR accessed my PERSONAL JOURNAL... Yep that is right, I have only had my personal diary for a short time, 14 entries in less than a year, and unbeknownst to me... just about anyone and everyone could read it, and read into my very core...I am embarrassed, humiliated, Hurt and disgusted...When I first set this Journal up I thought that I had protected myself against this very thing, I was actually encouraged to write and work through my struggles and thoughts by writing in a journal...AND was very hesitant when I first set it up because this was going to act as my private journal...NOT OPEN TO THE PUBLIC...So when I, VERY GRATEFULLY, received a sweet phone call in regards to my personal blog, from my father in law, tonight, I just about BURST into tears. MIND You, I had NO IDEA it was open to the public, because I thought I had closed all viewing to the public in the very beginning...Talk about the worst kind of private violation that can happen to a person Unaware, that others ARE aware of my personal trials, yet remaining silent in the fact that they too have read into my personal, private life, of which is and was NOT theirs to know about...

My "Hatch Family" blog was to act as my fun and open story book, for others to see, since we are SOOO VERY FAR AWAY from family and friends, it is there to update CLOSE family and friends with pictures and fun stories. BUT because most of those close family and friends do not know the in's and out's of the blogging world I could not make this particular blog Private, because it would cut them off from my family, and I did NOT and DO Not want that...so the "world" was given access to this blog. I did NOT want others to know of my personal days of struggle and pain IN ANY WAY...I try and keep my fun blog light and personal, NOT depressing...

TO be completely honest this last year has been a HUGE struggle in various personal ways and I am working on MANY things towards over coming various problems and have come to terms with many difficult insecurities...I HAVE been Angry, Emotional, Tired, and ALL the struggles that come with admitting your faults and wanting to change for the better...After All I Am Human and in order to make it through this life I MUST want to change so that I, as well as my family can grow towards progressive spiritual well being...
Is it easy... Of Course Not, we ALL have our issues and struggles after all...But like I said before, I was encouraged to write about my struggles and work through them...Being this far away from my mother has been SOOO heart wrenching, WHY because I can not just hope in a car and drive home anymore, or get a hug when I REALLY NEED ONE or feel up close and personal that unconditional love a mother and daughter share...it takes a long plane ride and WAY TOO much money, that we Honestly DON'T HAVE...the holidays ARE SOOOO hard, when one has come from a very family oriented back ground, I miss my family, friends and relatives soo very much these days and the fact that Art will be on call on Thanksgiving IS NOT HELPING...I feel aweful that he has to work that day and NOT be with his family for 36 hours on one of my hubby's ALL TIME FAVORITE holidays...and knowing that Everyone else in the world will be surrounded by their families, has tears falling down my face at this moment...

I am a wife to a wonderful husband who is a very hard working Resident Doctor...we have our great days and our bad days...there are days when I wish I were around the corner from family BUT I am not. Life can be VERY difficult, interesting, great, challenging, and crazy as a Doctors wife...We get 1 pay check and it is not always enough...I have many days when I want to get a job and help ends meet financially, but can't, so I do a little bit of hair out of my home now and then to try and help out and keep me sane! We had a sweet grandpa pass away and another in the hospital this last month and I am STILL in recovery from pneumonia, I have had several of my close friends out here tell me they will be moving by the end of this coming summer and being pregnant and emotional well its been rough... BUT THIS is our life right now, and it will not always be this way and we are still figuring things out as we go along...I L-O-V-E my husband, I L-O-V-E my children, I am NOT perfect, and am struggling to once again be content and happy with myself and this difficult life...Satan DOES NOT WANT ME TO SUCCEED BUT I CAN AND I WILL.

If you have no idea what I am talking about I AM GRATEFUL, if you HAVE read my Personal Journal Blog...I am sorry and pray you have not judged me or been offended by my words of pain and heartache...it was NEVER meant for your eyes OR anyone else's...THANK YOU RICK for pointing this ENORMOUS ERROR OUT TO ME...I opened up my mind and heart and wrote what I felt at that moment, thinking and believing that I was the ONLY one able to see and read my personal entries... to discover tonight that I had my journal opened to the "world," HONESTLY JUST HURTS... I learned a difficult lesson that will take some time to recover from...BUT with time like any other curve ball thrown at me I CAN and WILL recover!